One Week Down. One Week To Go.

Finals start next week. I have a final paper due in IS on monday a spanish final this Thursday. On Friday I have a Biology final and a presentation for IS. Then next Monday I have my Chemistry final and then I am officially free to go on break. I have to finish all of my community service hours this break and I WILL be working over this break if it is the death of me because I will not be able to have a sufficient cash supply without it. But this time over break I won't have to worry about any school work because classes will have just gotten over and then on top of that we get a longer break and its Christmas so it just automatically just makes it better. I am just really excited for this break and I can't wait for it to be here because a break with all the crap that is going on lately would be GREATLY appreciated.

First Week Back

So the first week back from Thanksgiving break is almost over and so far it has been a very very long week. I have been struggling with just about everything there is to struggle with. My relationship, friends, and school/homework. I feel like I am just constantly "dragging ass" as I have been describing my struggle and am just finding it hard to do even normal, everyday tasks like doing homework, taking notes in class and even just being social. Hopefully I am able to pick up enough slack to make it through all my homework and keep on track with it.

Back to School

Well, I just got back and I have all my stuff in my room again. I'm not finished unpacking and putting it all back quite yet but hopefully I'll get some of it done tonight and then I will finish all of the rest tomorrow. Thanksgiving break didn't feel like it was as long as I thought it was but I did manage to get some productive stuff done. I finished all of my Christmas shopping for my family, although I still don't know what to do for all my friends, I also got some school work done. I got my service paper done for IS, I did a blog and right now I'm finishing up my last one for this week, I have everything ready to write my final paper and even watched the movie for my book, and I finally managed to get my community service hours all ready and set up so that I can complete the twenty hours over winter break. I only slacked on one thing which was to write my convocational review and so I think I'm going to write that tonight to get it done so I have more time to focus on my other work this week.

Community Service

Tomorrow I finally start my community service hours. I am supposed to go around taking down signs, flyers and posters down off of light posts, telephone poles, and other places that they aren't supposed to be all around downtown Iowa City. I need to do a total of 20 hours of community service by January 15th. I'm not exactly sure how many hours I will actually be able to do. Im hoping to get as many hours done as I can but considering the task and how cold it is outside I'm not sure if I will even get 10 hours done. Hopefully I will have enough done that I can easily finish my hours over Christmas break.

Thanksgiving Break is here!

Thanksgiving break starts after classes tomorrow! I have been struggling this whole week to keep going and keep up with school work and not just give up and slack off. Now it is only one day away and I won't have to worry as much about finishing homework assignments until break is coming to an end. I get to go home and relax, see my girlfriend, see my family and complete some, if not all, of my 20 community service hours that I need to do. Maybe I will be able to work some too. I can't wait to eat all of the delicious food, to not have classes, and to go Black Friday shopping for the second time ever.

Trying to Figure out What to Give and Get for Christmas

Christmas is around the corner and I have to attempt to think of things to tell my family that I want for Christmas. I have a pretty steep deadline too because once Thanksgiving comes I know everyone is going to be asking me what I want and if I don't know I'm going to be subjected to looking at ads half the time I'm at our Thanksgiving. I don't really need anything or have anything that I really want. The only thing I really need is money. So I can make that into a few items: money, Walmart gift cards, Casey's gas cards, and gift cards to other stores I like. I don't really feel like I really want anything either maybe a new North Face jacket, clothes, Uggs and I would probably enjoy an Ipod touch, but that isn't really many things for my family to try to choose from. I also am having the issue of thinking of what to make my friends for Christmas and what to get my family. I like to make things or get cool little useful things for my friends and it's hard to think of creative, fun and useful gifts to give that they all will like.

The Mensa Struggle

There is one ongoing internal battle that every college student here at Wartburg. Where to eat. A lot of times the Mensa just doesn't have anything that seems appetizing, or they just really want to go out to eat instead. The big dilemma we all have is whether or not to go to the Mensa to eat because it is part of a package with our tuition so there is no out of pocket cost, or go out to eat because it is much more delicious and you get to pick exactly what you want but you have to pay for it out of pocket. This is definitely an ongoing struggle in my life and the lives of some of my friends as well. The lure of going out to eat is just so tempting and sometimes its really hard to keep myself from going out and spending money. To help in this issue I have decided that I am not going to allow myself to go out to eat more than 3 times a month but make it a point to go out at least one time every month to treat myself.

Donating Blood Today

I am donating blood later today and I am pretty excited. This is my first time ever giving blood. This makes me a little nervous because I don't know what to expect or how I will react to the procedure. I know some people feel ill and dizzy, others have almost no side effects, and some people just straight up pass out. I don't think I am going to be someone who just passes out completely and I am not worried about needles or blood because those things don't bother me like they do with some people. I am however a little worried that I might be someone who feels ill and gets dizzy or feel faint because I'm almost too small to meet the weight requirement and because I have never given blood before. Whatever the case may be though I know I will continue to donate blood because blood can be so vital in saving someone's life in a medical emergency and if I can help save a person's life, even if I have to be inconvenienced or feel sick for a while in order to do so, I am more than happy to do it.

Thanksgiving is coming

Thanksgiving Break is just around the corner! There are 14 days left until break and yes, I am definitely counting down the days. In fact I have a countdown going on the the white board on my dorm room door. I am so excited for Thanksgiving Break because I could REALLY use a break from school right now. I just need time to let my brain relax. I am not exactly sure what I am doing for Thanksgiving break with the family dinners for both sides of my family and also Shelby's family. I also am unsure of whether or not I would be able to work over Thanksgiving Break and if I should even bother. So I guess these are also things that I need to figure out soon. Never the less though Thanksgiving Break is within sight and so all I have to do is survive until then and then hopefully I will have enough time to recuperate and get my sanity back.

Craziness!

I have so many things going on right now that it just feels ridiculous. I have Spanish homework that is due this Monday, this Friday and next Monday. I have to finish the Chemistry Smartwork assignment and prepare for the impending Chemistry test, as well as the impending Biology test. I have to read at least the next nine chapters for IS by Monday, finish a Service and Leadership assignment by Wednesday, do all the blogs for this week and next week, write the Convocational Review as soon as possible, write my second Cultural Review as soon as possible, and complete two hours of community service and write a Service Review by December 2nd. Those are all just the things I need to do for school. I also have a lot of things going on either in my life or in my head. I really need to clean my room, I need to do laundry and I need to do dishes really badly. On top of that tomorrow is my dad's birthday so I need to do something for that as well as get him a gift and I have to do twenty hours of community service at a legitimate organization for court by January 15th. I also need to figure a lot of things out. I'm having a hard time finding somewhere nearby that I can do my twenty hours of community service at, I am getting low on money so I need to figure out how to arrange my schedule over breaks to be able to fit in some work hours and still make it to my family events, I am also trying to figure out my schedule for next semester and if I should get an on campus job or not. So many things on my brain. I don't even know where to start. Hopefully I can hack through a lot of these things this weekend so I can relax a little next week!

Eight Months!

I'm officially in my longest relationship, I've made it to eight months and there is no sign of it stopping. I am really glad that I have finally found someone that I feel completely comfortable around and can tell anything to and to just have fun with. I can't wait to see where this takes me and how long it will continue to go. I'm so glad to have her in my life and I honestly don't know how I could mange to stay strong through all the things I have to overcome in my life without her. I couldn't ask for anything better and I can't wait til I can see her again.

Papers

I feel really bogged down with papers lately. I feel like right before I get one finished I always get another one, or more, to do. I don't feel like I have problems with writing things the problem is that I never know how to get started, and I always take such a long time to write a paper because I never feel like the way I word things are right or good enough and I am always worried I wont get a good grade on my paper. I could pull out a paper in a matter of a few hours but I cant just leave it like that. I am too OCD about it to just write without stopping and changing things and questioning things then rewording them. So no matter how desperately I need to get a paper done I can't just do it half-assed and call it good. I torture myself til the very last second trying to get it all taken care of and done to the unrealistic standard that i have in my head.

Study Abroad

Studying abroad is a really exceptional experience and I will get to do it if I stick to my plan of minoring in Spanish . When you study abroad for a Spanish minor most people go during one of their may terms. I plan to go to Costa Rica next year during may term of my sophomore year at Wartburg. My cousin has gone to Spanish speaking countries including Costa Rica many times and actually spends a lot of time doing mission work and studying abroad. I have heard lots of good things about studying abroad from her and it has really gotten me interested in doing so myself so I am actually really excited to go to Costa Rica.

Break

The first break is finally here. I feel like it is going to be a lot less productive of a break as I was hoping it would be. I really wanted to get a few hours of work in so I could get a good chunk of free spending money but this definitely is not going to be the case. Since there weren't any hours to pick up at the nursing home this weekend instead I went and had the heating and air conditioning in my car fixed today, tomorrow I am going to see Shelby, Saturday hopefully I will get to hang out and go see some old friends, and then Sunday my family is going to go out to eat with my grandma. Although it is still a good weekend I was really hoping to work and see the residents and make some spending money too. I miss working as weird as that probably sounds, but I enjoy doing CNA work and I cant wait to get to actually be a nurse.

Drama drama drama

There's drama happening on Vollmer ground right now. I really thought that I wouldn't have to see this type of drama after coming to college because I figured that people would have left their petty drama and immature attitudes at home. I'm not really even involved in it and it bugs me. I hate when people argue and I hate drama. Its just immature and people our age should be mature enough to handle things in a way that is much more civil and much less dramatic. Its rediculous and its over things that are really stupid that have blown out of control. I just don't get it. I'm just glad its not my drama even though I still am kind of a part of it because it invovles friends of mine.

Can't schools spread out their tests???

There are a lot of things going on lately and I feel like I have been trying to understand and prepare myself a lot better than I have been before but I still feel super behind and unprepared and like I don't understand the materials like I'm supposed to be. I have more tests coming up. I have one in spanish, one in chemistry, and one in biology. I am definately not prepared for spanish at all. I'm comprehending the concepts in biology but I don't have the terminology memorized even remotely and I'm sure that the terminology is going to be the most important thing to know for the test. For chemistry oh boy I need to do some hardcore studying because I have tried so hard lately to pay attention and learn everything but I still feel so far behind and don't understand it all. I'm going to study tomorrow big time but I still don't think it will be enough to do very good on the test. I guess we will see how this all goes! Yikes!

College Roomates

Coming to college I had already talked to my roomate and thought it was going to workout a lot better than it has. After getting here and living together though I realized she acts different and feels differently about things then she led me to believe. Don't get me wrong I like my roomate but things are just slowly starting to irk me. Her things are slowly piling up around the room and are beginning to migrate into my space, she has been using some of my things without knowing if it was alright to, and she has been disposing of things in the trashcan I got for our room that really shouldn't be disposed of in our room. Its not awful and I know it could be much worse like some people fight with their roommates and I don't have that problem. However it is still very irritating and sometimes its really hard not to get upset and say something to her. I'm sure I'll survive the rest of the year andthen next year I'll be able to room with one of my friends that I've met here so it should be a lot better.

My Laptop

Well this week was crazy. My group for IS did almost nothing for our project so I got stuck making the powerpoint myself and finding the majority of the information myself. Then I broke my laptop by accidentally spilling cappuccino on it during biology and fried the keyboard so now I'm getting it fixed and thankfully its only going to cost me about $75. However to add onto this I had all my information on my laptop for my IS paper so I had to basically restart it all at the library but fortunately I had my sources and some background info and when I went to safely eject my usb it didn't have any option to and so I ended up losing all my work and and all my information, research, sources and the worst part was that I lost all the articles I found that pertained to my subject that I had the hardest time finding. So now it looks like I'm going to have to restart all over... yet again once I get my laptop back, which will hopefully be on Wednesday. Never realized how much I used my laptop and how much I needed it til now.

Homosexuality Debate

I have been hearing about a debate that is going to be occurring on Friday in either one or a couple IS 101 classes about whether homosexuality is wrong and if it is a sin or not. Today I have had the privilege of spending seven wonderful months with my girlfriend. I don't think I could ask for anyone more perfect for me or anyone that could make me happier. So clearly this is an issue that is very close to heart for me. This debate concerns me because I feel like it is only going to cause problems and crate unwanted tension between people. I have always kind of had an odd view of homosexuality and homophobes. While I do feel that homophobia is an issue and I clearly believe that it is okay and I am proud of my sexuality I know that trying to shove it down peoples throats and trying to force them to agree is going to get people nowhere. I want other people to be respectful of my choices, feelings and beliefs so I try to be respectful to those who may have differing opinions. I don't like conflict and I don't like being disrespectful but I don't want to feel like I can't be myself in public. A lot of homosexuals overcompensate and seem to shove their pride for their sexuality in other people's faces and I don't think that's any better than homophobes shoving their anti-gay beliefs in our faces. I still am proud of myself but I do it on a reasonable, respectful level. I'm honest and open about it especially if someone asks me a question, I don't try to hide my sexuality, I openly talk about my relationship no differently than I would if I instead had a boyfriend, and I always have my rainbow earring in and my rainbow pin on my lanyard. But don't get me wrong I am not afraid to fight for what I believe in and stand up for myself or others if they're being treated unfairly, rudely or are being attacked because of their sexuality. If someone were to get in my face or anyone else's and say that homosexuals are an abomination, or disgusting, or should go to hell I will gladly roll my sleeves up and let them know how I feel and put them in their place without hesitation. The way I feel about it all is that you can have your own opinion all you want just keep it to yourself and don't treat others as lesser because they are different from you.

I think I'm going crazy!

This week has seemed like quite an odd week. I feel like I'm going crazy, all week I have felt very discombobulated, my thoughts are scrambled, I feel one step forward at times and at others three steps back, I don't have a ton of homework so I feel like I'm forgetting assignments, I keep misplacing and losing things and all this week the days just don't feel right. This week Monday felt like it was Wednesday, Tuesday felt like Thursday, Wednesday I couldn't decide at all; one moment it felt like Sunday,  another moment it felt like Monday, and at other times it felt like Friday; and today it feels like it should be a Sunday. All this confusion and I cant figure out why. I'm just very out of it. I really hope that I can get my head on straight before next week comes around because I'm not sure if I can keep from going insane if I have to go through this another week.

Hazing in the Wartburg Choir

Yesterday I found out that hazing is actually something that is a problem here. Hazing really wasn't something that I would really think would be much of an issue on a campus like Wartburg that doesnt have fraternities and sororities. I could understand maybe it being somewhat of an issue with sports but what I found out utterly confused me. I found out that the Wartburg Choir has a very big problem with hazing. You hear about hazing you think sports and Greek life, never would choir cross your mind. This is just something very peculiar to me and I can't figure out how hazing became so big in our school choir but apparently this is the case.

Family Problems: Could "Family" Actually be the Problem?

I've noticed that a lot of other people are missing their families, getting home sick and going home to visit quite a bit. This isn't something that I've been having an issue with. I guess I never realized how little of an emotional connection me and my family have. Honestly my family hasn't hardly even crossed my mind more than the few times that I have received a call from one parent or the other or a random snapchat from my brother. After this was brought to my attention I initially felt kind of sad that I never had that kind of relationship with my family, but then I thought about it and realized I like the distance in my family. I enjoy having space to do my own thing, be myself and be independent. I have pretty much left my old life behind minus a handful of friends and my girlfriend. Most people would hear this and feel sad for me or find this to be an issue. But for me, as awful as it sounds, not talking to people from school or really talking to my family is kind of nice. I feel like the people who are all caught up with their families are held back. This is because while everyone else is feeling emotionally stressed, sad and distracted from life here on campus because they're home sick, I'm focusing more on school work, hanging out with my new friends and going to activities on campus. I am able to get even more of the freedom I've always enjoyed and with that I can be happy.

Not everything this weekend is going to be stressful, or at least I hope not. There is a football game tomorrow. If I play my cards right I think I might have time to go and watch it with my some of friends and get to see one of my friends cheer and another one dance at halftime. All I need to do is work the rest of the night tonight and hopefully I'll get my paper done or at least finish enough that I will have time to get the rest of my homework done before the game tomorrow. Then on Sunday I will study all day and then that night have a game night with my friends and just relax so I don't have a mental breakdown.

Well, although I've improved my study habits I'm still finding it hard to get things done when most other people are around. I find myself unable to find the drive to even get to work let alone complete anything. This is very stressful. I know I can get my homework done but I know its going to be VERY stressful and difficult to do. I can already feel myself getting to the point where I'm anxious, shaky and getting that uneasy feeling in my stomach and in a "blah" mood like I do when I have too much stress in my life. I'm usually good at handling stress but with all the things going on right now it just feels like too much. There are just too many things looming over my head, like a Biology exam on Monday, a 4-6 page paper in IS 101 that I don't understand, a paper for my Biology Lab that I also don't get, a Chemistry exam coming soon, and the fact that I'm utterly lost in Spanish and I think we might be having a quiz soon. I feel like I need to just take a night for myself but I don't think I have enough time to do that with all the stuff I need to do before Monday.

The reality of what is making school so hard for you

Going off to college you are always told that you're about to lose all your free time and that whenever you aren't in class you will constantly be studying and completing assignments and writing papers. People always  think that college is nothing like high school and that it is exponentially harder. Just recently I felt overwhelmed by all the new information and assignments that were being thrown at me but after talking to people about it I realized it wasn't because there was too much work or that the work was too hard to do- it was me. I realized that I was the only thing that was making my life so darn difficult. My poor study habits, lack of prioritizing my work, and lack of time management are what led to my inability to preform well. Although it wasn't easy by any means nor am I close to being exactly where I want to be I managed to kick most of my old habits from high school and improve my study skills. I honestly wish I would have done this back in high school because it truly has made my life so much easier and much more enjoyable.

The Value Of An Educated Life

I feel like an educated life is greatly valuable. Being educated is so valuable because the more you are educated the more you are knowledgeable and aware and have a better understanding of the world around you which helps you be prepared for obstacles you may encounter in your life which is the reason that I felt that going to college was a necessity for my life. I wanted to come to college because with the career path I want to pursue an education is essential. Since I wish to enter the medical field if I were to not get the type of education I would acquire at college I would be very ill prepared and would not have the proper knowledge to correctly diagnose, treat or take care of people.